So, let’s talk about why some people may like to be in control and get enraged easily.
Let’s imagine you’ve got someone in your life who wants to dictate to you and make you obey without questioning, who think they are always right and loses it when things don’t go their way, or care less about how you feel as long as they rule and reign and take the shine. Always!
There’s an energy responsible for this behavior of wanting to have one’s own way. We all have a little of this energy in us and things get out of hand when we do not master how to regulate this energy thereby becoming toxic to people around us.
Sometimes, we are really good intention-ed actually. We frankly believe we are right and our idea, opinion or instruction alone is the right thing for another to adopt. But part of learning how to regulate our emotion is knowing, by means of careful contemplation and weighing of results and consequences, where exactly to draw the line and give another human the freedom to choose their paths and make their own choices. This, I repeat, comes with a lot of careful contemplation and inner wisdom.
If you, for example, think an object I am about to lay hold on is very hot, you tell me.
“Stop! Don’t touch that. It’s hot.”
If I still reach forth to touch it regardless, you may have this sudden surge of emotion that may suddenly burst forth. The emotion is because you are concerned about my bare hand that will blister if indeed I touch that hot object.
This emotion is GOOD. It shows you care about my well-being. But what will happen if you don’t control it, if you haven’t learnt to regulate your feelings and weigh options to know the best thing to do in a situation like that?
What do you do at that moment?
Instantly push me away from (reaching) the object not minding if I fall?
Or restrain yourself as I touch it and groan in pain? […and tell me ‘sorry’ afterwards, of course. With or without chipping in the very annoying “I told you.” /smirks/]
Now, this is where I am going: That ability to know WHAT to do when emotions hit an all-time high is very crucial in our relationship with other people…
The ‘hot object’ analogy above do not do justice to all I want to point out about all that happens in our daily lives and interactions with people or even the message I am trying to pass across but what I am trying to say is that, in order for us not to be so pushy on what we think should be that we cheat others of their own individuality we must know where exactly to draw the line.
One problem with people who like to have their way all the time is how they seem to want to take the place of God, the place of others’ individuality or even the place of the time and chance that happens to us all.
I believe understanding more than we can presently see (in the moment) will help us respond better to situations. This can only come when we have taken care to exercise our minds and prepare ourselves to respond and attend to circumstances in the best way possible. Having values and principles we stick to helps too.
Till next time when I’d be talking about how personal values, principles and known consequences help us regulate our emotions, please feel free to comment and share your thoughts on this.
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