Welcome, again, to my bitácora!
It is a lovely Tuesday morning I am having here and I hope it is the same for you, too. Thanks to the ambience of serenity lulling me back to bed, I thought it best to amply seize this fine moment to share my thoughts on how the past holds us back and how we can change that.
We all have things we wish we could have done better, situations we wish we had approached more wisely, circumstances we believe we could have been smarter, stronger, more prudent, more mature, etc. But fixating on mistakes from the past may likely be affecting your self-esteem in the present. You may find yourself focusing on things you think you did wrong or things you think you should or shouldn’t have done or said, which ultimately ends up making you feel bad about yourself, despair about your becoming process and lose hope in your peculiar path on your unique journey through life. These, right here, are the pitfalls I want you to avoid. Okay?
So, I am indeed happy to tell you, you can change how you interpret yesterday, how you view yourself in response, and how you live today as a result.
Here are few ways to let go of your limiting story or skewed view about yourself due to the past:
Sometimes, you may be a lot harder on yourself than others. For lack of examples. Someone breaks a plate while doing the dishes, you say it was because their hands were wet and/or the plate slippery. If the same thing happens to you, you blame your shaky hands and poor coordination to death! Someone drives into an electric pole; you say it must be that they were distracted. You do the same and immediately judge yourself the worse driver in the whole wide world! You should practice self-compassion. Please do. Stop being SO HARD on yourself all the time. Think of what you would say to your closest friend if they had your same experiences. When you start feeling bad about something, make the same excuses you would normally make for others for yourself, too. You are learning and growing through all you have ever done or had happen to you, be kind to yourself and keep moving…
Identify the positive things
This is where you reframe your past experiences/choices/mistakes to identify the positive things that came from them. Examine them and see how they have helped you understand people and life itself better. Did you trust someone and they betrayed you? What red flags did you notice about the person prior? Would you have vouched for their integrity before you trusted them? What really happened to make them betray your trust? What has that experience taught you? How can you prevent such from happening again? These are some of the questions one could ask oneself in a similar situation. When you face things you’d rather not have found yourself in, you need to brace yourself up and move on from it, but not without picking out the positive things and the little lessons that will further help you on your journey through life. I believe some things happen and become forever part of our stories so we can learn from them on our long road Home. The collection of all our life’s experiences makes us who we are and we must never take this for granted. So, look at the past through the lens of “what positive thing(s) came from this?” Please note that this is sometimes difficult so you must be sure to look carefully to find even just one tiny positive thing. If you convince yourself that nothing good has come from some certain past, you’d inevitably see that past as altogether negative and as a result feel very defeated. You mustn’t let this happen to you. It is bound to hold you back. I want you to look back on every choice you have regretted…then ask yourself sincerely, “What good came out of this?”
Focus on the lessons and the future
Lastly, focus on the lessons learned and how they will ultimately serve you in the future. You cannot go back and change everything you did before, but you can make sure you are proud of what you do with the lessons that came from it.
There is a popular saying that goes thus, “No one can go back and make a brand-new start, but anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.”
So, my dear reader, when you find yourself dwelling on choices you wish you made or didn’t make, ask yourself these two questions . . .
What did this experience teach me which will help me going forward?
What insights did I gain about myself that will help me be the person I want to be?
When you train yourself to focus on the lessons learned, you can turn a past you might otherwise regret into something ultimately useful for both your present and the future.
I sincerely wish you happy and life-filled moments every day.
Photocredit: Google Images