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Hello Esteemed Reader!

First of all, I will like to thank you for coming over to my blog! I really hope you enjoy what I write about and will be free to share your thoughts with me so we learn from each other.

Today’s post will be the first in the series I introduced last week! Are you excited? I am!

N.B SDH in the post title stands for Self-Destructive Habits. I put that so my title wouldn’t appear too long. I will use that acronym in subsequent posts as well. I will be treating one, two or three habits in each post.

If we don’t know or recognize what we have trained our minds to ignore or to accept as normal and okay, how do we defeat them so as to positively improve our lives? They say its best if you look at your devils right in the face. This is how to win. So, lets name these self-destructive behaviours so we can shame them!

Self-defeating mindsets:

Thoughts such as, “I am going to fail,” “I’m going to mess up again,” “I am no good,” etc., end up becoming self-fulfilling prophecies and that makes harbouring negative mindsets an unconscious form of self destructive behaviour.

Possible Causes: Anything from past failures to growing up in an environment that was unconducive for good mental health and/or being verbally abused as a child can lead one to believing in all the negatives.

Suggested way out: Continually encouraging negative mindsets may just be the perfect ingredient for eventual failure or disaster. How about stopping the negative self-talk and replacing them with positive ones even when circumstances are saying otherwise? Fine, I get it. You feel the fear. You’ve been down that road a thousand times and have failed. But why not trust yourself again this time and when you get to the end of yourself and you feel like saying, “I know it’s all coming apart as always”, try say firmly instead “I’ve got this. I’m going to be strong.”

False portrayal:

Portraying yourself as someone who is dumb, unintelligent and incapable of achieving something or anything is a form of self destructive behaviour. This behaviour usually results from a lack of confidence in one’s ability and may also serve as a coping mechanism to deal with academic pressure for example. Talk about acting dumb in a class group so you are not made the leader because you totally believe leading a group project and presenting a six-paged report on it is something you cannot do.

Possible Causes: Again, a past failure may often result in this kind of behaviour. Plain fear of embarrassment can also cause one to shy away from simple responsibilities that typically serve to make one better.

Suggested way out: Though it is advisable for you to know your limit and what you are capable of, it is necessary to deal with ‘forced/strategic incompetence’ and make up your mind not to allow fear of failure to cause you to avoid avenues to challenge yourself, move outside your comfort zone, and improve on your skills.

Please, feel free to share your thoughts and contribution on these two types of self-destructive behaviours in the comments section below. Have you ever had or still have traits of any of these habits? How did you overcome it? How are you overcoming it to become a better individual?

Till next time, please share my posts with all your friends!


Photo credit: Google Images

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2 Replies to “SDH: Self-defeating mindsets and False portrayal”

  1. I like to think I am a very confident person but I do fall into a self defeating mindset on occasion. It is great to be reminded to snapback into a confident reality. Thanks. Good one

    1. Yes, we all sometimes entertain unhelpful mindsets. I’m glad to hear that you’re reminded to be strong and confident. Cheers!

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