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Hello esteemed reader,

In the last post I talked about few things one should be careful of doing when one is trying to exit the dark room of despondence. But today, I bring a few suggestions on how to recover lost happiness, and these suggestions are anchored on one thing: finding and dealing with the cause of [that] unhappiness.

The key to finding happiness again is in finding the cause of your sadness and dealing with it. It is not in looking for joy in things ephemeral without looking into the root of your despondency and working it out from there.

Let’s start with things that really make people unhappy.

Truth is, the things many assume is making them sad may not actually be the sole culprit. It’s funny how you may think your car having faults frequently is the only thing which is making you sad. That can be true on the surface but what if it is the fact that you desire to change the car but for a long time haven’t being financially buoyant enough to get a new one that is actually making you displeased and dissatisfied deep down in your heart? I’m just saying… You may unconsciously believe getting another car will totally stop your frequent visits to the auto mechanic but since you’re unable to afford a new vehicle you feel miserable about your financial status and inwardly lament your disability. When you happen to be asked about the furrow on your brows, you’d say,

“uhm, I’m alright, it’s just my car giving me problems. You won’t believe it’s developed yet another fault after the other one got resolved just last week!”

And not,

“I badly need funds to purchase another car. This one I’ve got is quite old and worn. I’m very unhappy because I don’t have the means to get a new car. I wish I am more financially capable.”

That said, here are the few suggestions on how to find and then deal with the cause of unhappiness:

  • Ask yourself honest questions. It’s no use to live in denial about what really makes you sad. You can tell yourself the truth in the secrecy of your heart and begin to work your way towards happiness again. You can’t help yourself without starting with the truth. “Why exactly am I sad?” is a good place to start. This is where you find out it’s probably not just a hormonal mood swing you are having, but that you are dissatisfied with something or someone in your life. If you wait for a “mood swing” to pass when you actually suppose to be showing the way out of your personal space to a toxic person, you are going to wait forever.

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  • Know yourself. This is undoubtedly a very cliched saying but it can not be overemphasized on the journey to personal happiness. Tell you what? A lack of self identity would always result in some level of discontent which unfailingly leads to unhappiness. Go on a journey of self-discovery. There you will find that your circumstances do not define you, and seeing that you are more than passing situations, you’re better able to keep yourself together and not easily lose your joy—and if you have lost it, finding your true self will hand it back to you with a smile!
  • Love yourself. You are probably wondering what exactly this point will hold. Well, it’s simple: love yourself, your authentic self (please note). But, Pam, how will loving myself help me find and deal with the root of my blues? By helping you stop to pay attention to your heart! If you love yourself enough, you will find yourself blocking out the negative noise around you off and listening to your inner child. The one that bids you “Stop and see!”, “Pause and listen!” . . . While at these, something happens. You see the magnificent works of The Maker in nature. You hear the wondrous songs of the birds. And then, you recognize the intelligence that made all things beautiful and bright, and accept you were not born to be gloomy. So, love yourself enough to know yourself. Love yourself enough to see that deep inside you, you are serene and sure, content and at peace. Then work this truth out into the physical reality of your everyday living. This is one key to possessing a gleeful aura even in unpleasant situations.

Did you find these tips relatable? Do you believe it can work for you? What are your thoughts? Feel free to drop them below and do share my posts if you find them more helpful than slightly mystical. I do wish you well on your journey to finding true happiness and I hope you come back to read from me again.

Warm regards,

Pamela

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